COMEDY REVIEW : Even When White’s Not Blue, He’s Not Funny

The keenest insight Ron White came up with Wednesday at the Laff Stop in Newport Beach was his prediction that “I’m gonna get slammed in the review.”

Ron was right--but not necessarily for the reasons he fretted about periodically during his first local appearance. A lot of his material is about sex, and one of the times he voiced his concern was after a bit about fellatio. (Because he doesn’t work for a family newspaper, he used a slightly different term.)

That wasn’t really the problem. Someone like Robert Schimmel--a longtime Laff Stop regular--deals exclusively with sex and, yes, he’s very blue. But he’s also one of the better comics around.

No, the problem with White’s set wasn’t so much the subject matter (save for the gay-bashing stuff), but what he did with it--or didn’t do: He didn’t clutter his act with anything too clever, too original, too insightful, too adventurous, too aware. He didn’t reveal anything about the human condition--his or ours.

Not that every comedian has to offer all, or even some, of these things. Sometimes, just being amusing is its own reward. But White doesn’t fall into that category, either. More importantly, he’s one of those Southern, good ol’ boy comics--but without the against-type intelligent commentary or trenchant bon mots dispensed by the most impressive practitioners of that style.

Given all these shortcomings, then, White’s 45-minute show was kind of like watching a polar bear move around at the zoo: slow, lumbering, fairly uneventful, with something comical and/or interesting happening only occasionally.

There was the time a waitress brought him another Corona. Seeing the piece of lime still sitting on the lip of the bottle, he said, “Don’t bother putting the lime in for me--I’m not very busy.” (Of course, that’s probably one of those “improvised” lines he’s used before.)

And he ventured into unusual, largely unexplored territory when he introduced a piece on devil worship. “That’s something you (shouldn’t) joke about--but I’m going to anyway,” he said, going on to reveal that legislators “were trying to get a bill passed that would make it illegal in the state of Texas to drink human blood. . . .”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you have in your possession a cup of human blood--and it ain’t your own--haven’t you already broke some major rules?”

Oh, and a few times during his performance, he uttered what may well be his funniest phrase: “I’m an artiste .” The phrase was obviously intended to be self-mocking. Unfortunately, he clearly didn’t realize just how hilarious it was.

Ron White headlines a bill through Sunday that also includes Stan Sellers, at the Laff Stop, 2122 S.E. Bristol St., Newport Beach. Show times: 8, 10 and 11:45 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 8:30 p.m. Sunday. Tickets: $6 to $9. Information: (714) 852-8762.