W.C. Fields knew the feeling:One wonders if...

W.C. Fields knew the feeling:

One wonders if embattled L.A. Police Chief Willie Williams ever thinks about his former job and finds himself saying, “All things considered, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.”

MALIBU LAW: The L.A. Daily Journal quoted some Pepperdine Law School students who were unhappy over a “Doonesbury” cartoon strip that depicted Whitewater counsel Kenneth Starr visiting a Malibu beach--”the site of his postponed dreams.”

On the sand, Starr runs into a couple of sun-addled Pepperdine law students and asks one, “What year are you, son?” The lad responds, “Um . . . I dunno. Fifth?” His companion interjects, “No way, man. We enrolled together in ’88.”

The school also took a hit in the Wall Street Journal, which recently quoted a Democratic Party joke about Starr’s decision to postpone taking over as dean of the Pepperdine Law School: “Mattel had to recall its new Malibu Ken doll after it kept reversing itself.”

WAIT TILL EISNER FINDS OUT: The San Diego Union Tribune published a brief list of notable alumni (including non-grads) of schools in the coming NCAA basketball tournament.

We couldn’t quarrel with the newspaper’s selections for Stanford: novelist John Steinbeck, President Herbert Hoover and U.S. Chief Justice William Rehnquist.

But we differed with the Tribune over some of its picks for our local schools.

USC was represented only by filmmaker George Lucas and retired Judge Joseph Wapner (the ex-star of TV’s “People’s Court”). We’d have put them below astronaut Neil Armstrong, former Secretary of State Warren Christopher, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf and make-believe soldier John Wayne.

UCLA was represented only by baseball pioneer Jackie Robinson and Michael Ovitz, who was identified as a “Walt Disney executive” (does that mean he has to give his $100-million buyout back?). We would fire Ovitz from that list and replace him with Nobel Peace Prize winner Ralph Bunche, ex-Mayor Tom Bradley or, if a show biz rep was needed, actress Carol Burnett.

Overall, though, USC and UCLA should count themselves as lucky. Consider the public relations disaster for the University of Arizona. The Tribune revealed that one of that school’s alumni is Geraldo Rivera (a.k.a. Jerry Rivers).

miscelLAny

We can never understand why some newcomers to Southern California say that it’s confusing to drive here. All you have to do is follow the arrows, as you can see in these photos by Henry John Michel in North Hollywood, Father Carl Tresler in Montebello and Al Seib in Culver City.