Maps to Anywhere

For years we’ve seen signs advertising Marlboro Country, but as far as I know no one’s ever been there and it can’t be found in any atlas. Yet as we navigate our own familiar geographies, we see numerous signs announcing other still-unmapped places. Urban explorers regularly uncover such arcane population centers as Carpet Village (Van Nuys), Toytown (Rosemead) and Suit City (Fountain Valley) and such natural wonders as Seafood Bay (Boyle Heights), Fantasy Island (Agoura), Jean Jungle (Marina del Rey) and Magic Mountain (Valencia). But just where does that mean we are? Not in Office World (Torrance) or Hair World (Sun Valley) or Realty World (Los Angeles) and, I hope, not in Phone World (Los Angeles). If we’re not happy with any of these spheres, and we’re not content with the Wheel World (Culver City), and we don’t think it’s a Small World (West Hills) after all, we can always retire to Leisure World (Laguna Hills) or just bliss out in the Yogurt Zone (Encino).