Amid All of His Sorrows, He’s Still Standing

As Elton John prepares to begin his first U.S. concert tour in more than two years, the question many fans are asking is whether he is going to sing the eulogy to Diana, Princess of Wales, that is a sales phenomenon around the world.

“Absolutely not,” the singer-composer says quickly and firmly when asked during an interview about performing the special version of “Candle in the Wind” that he and lyricist Bernie Taupin wrote for Princess Diana’s funeral Sept. 6.

“The only way I’ll ever sing it again is if the children [Princes William and Harry] ask me. Otherwise, it would be totally inappropriate.”

John, 50, feels so strongly about the matter that he is uncertain about even singing the original version of “Candle in the Wind” again. That song, which he and Taupin wrote in 1973 about Marilyn Monroe, is one of the most popular of the British performer’s more than 50 U.S. Top 40 hits, a total surpassed only by Elvis Presley.

“I don’t know how I’ll eventually feel about that,” he continues. “To me, that’s a totally different song, but it may be that the [feelings] will be too closely connected. I think I’m just going to put it to one side now, . . . just drop it for a while and then see how I feel.”

John is astonished at the reaction to the version, officially titled “Candle in the Wind 1997,” that has been released as a charity single. Retail orders in the U.S. alone are11 million, an unprecedented number.

“What is happening, I think, is that people want a memento of her and they’ve found that in the single,” he says.

John’s invitation to sing at the funeral symbolizes the way he has in recent years become such a respected figure.

Greatly affected in 1990 by the heroic struggle of teenage AIDS victim Ryan White, John overcame his own cocaine problems and in 1992 started the nonprofit Elton John AIDS Foundation, which has raised more than $13 million.

To avoid appearing as if he is exploiting the new “Candle” single or the deaths of his friends, Diana and fashion designer Gianni Versace, John announced this week that he will not make any further public comments to the media about the deaths. He even canceled an appearance on NBC’s “Today” show after the network aired promotions stating that John would be appearing on the program to discuss the deaths.

But the singer agreed to document his feelings about the deaths and other matters because the interview had been scheduled before Princess Diana’s death, and because it is the latest in a series with The Times that dates back to 1970.

On the eve of the two-month tour, which begins Oct. 10 in Winston-Salem, N.C., John talks about the events of recent months and the changes in his life in the ‘90s.

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Question: Many people might assume you simply met Princess Diana a few times at charity events, but the relationship was much closer, wasn’t it?

Answer: Yes, I got to know her quite well and, of course, we had some things in common. We were both bulimic for a start and we both had marriages that failed and we were both extremely interested in AIDS. You could talk about those and other issues with her in a way that you probably couldn’t with any other member of the royal family. That’s why she was such a special person.

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Q: How did the invitation to sing at the funeral come about?

A: It all happened quickly. I got a call from Richard Branson [the British entrepreneur and founder of Virgin Records], who said, “You might have to get prepared to sing at the funeral,” but I really didn’t know until Thursday of that week that I was definitely going to sing. I think it was a matter of protocol, whether everyone involved felt it was appropriate.

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Q: It was such an emotional moment. How did you avoid breaking down during the song?

A: Basically, I just had to switch off mentally. When the coffin came into Westminster Abbey I cried and when it went out I cried, but the only time I came close to it during the song was at the beginning of the third verse. I just had to grit my teeth.

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Q: In some ways, people looked on you as their representative, don’t you think?

A: I felt very much like a representative at that moment. It was an honor just to be invited to the funeral, but to also be able to sing that song. It’s probably the biggest honor of my life. I don’t think anything will ever match it for me.

I was so touched by the way people reacted to Princess Diana’s death. . . . The way they waited 11 to 12 hours in the rain to sign the [memorial] books. Their dignity, their generosity, their genuine outpouring of grief. I’ve never seen anything like that.

People say that’s what it was like after the Second World War in England when people just got together and shared their emotions. It was just a wonderful feeling for a week in England. . . . The hope that maybe something positive could come out of this awfulness.

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Q: What about your relationship with Gianni Versace [who was slain July 15 outside his home in Miami]? That even had deeper ties than Princess Diana, didn’t it?

A: He was like a soul mate really, someone more or less the same as me. . . . Completely obsessive, slightly mad, always wanting to change things, to learn things. He taught me so much about art, architecture. . . . If we were in Venice, he would take me to every church. You would never have a dull moment with him.

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Q: If you listen to some of the songs on your new album [the just-released “The Big Picture”], especially “Something About the Way You Look Tonight” and “Live Like Horses,” you’d think they were written after the deaths, even though they weren’t. They are the kind of comforting and optimistic songs that help people through troubled times. Do you often turn to music yourself for comfort?

A: Sure. There’s a song on the new Beth Nielsen Chapman album about losing her husband [to a rare form of lymphoma] that has helped me deal with my grief. It’s called “Sand and Water” and it says everything I want to say. It’s weird because she gave me the tape before Gianni and Princess Diana died and it didn’t mean all that it does now. But now it is so relevant and I’m going to sing it on the tour because it says everything I feel. I can’t sing “Candle in the Wind,” but I have to get something out of me and that song will help me do it. I’ve asked her to write a new verse for me.

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Q: Did you think after the deaths about canceling the tour? Or is it good to have something to throw yourself into?

A: It’s good to push yourself, . . . to do something. I’m eager to get back on the road and play the new album. I don’t want to sit at home and mope. Gianni wouldn’t want me to do that. You grieve and then you go on. At least that’s what I tell myself. In some ways, I’m not sure all of what has happened has fully hit me yet.

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Q: Do you look back in your life on the Ryan White experience as a turning point?

A: I would never have been able to cope with things that have happened to me if I hadn’t changed my life. No way. Can you imagine if all this had happened eight years ago? My life is so much calmer, much happier now.

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Q: What about your AIDS foundation? There’s a lot to celebrate in the battle against AIDS isn’t there?

A: Yes, people have been extremely generous to our foundation and all the other AIDS campaigns, and so much progress has been made. But I think a lot of people have the perception that AIDS is going away, but the fact is it’s still rising around the world, especially among women.

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Q: Can you picture a time in the near future where you might quit making music and devote yourself full time to the foundation and other causes?

A: No, I’d miss it. I love what I do. I don’t want to retire at 50. I love writing the albums with Bernie and I love the film things that I’m doing with Tim Rice. Bernie and I are even working on a musical version of “Captain Fantastic.”

Besides, I don’t want to become one of those people who are always on television preaching to people about something. I think it’s better to have a balance so that you can approach people on different levels. It’s my career that helps me accomplish things with the foundation.

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Q: Before people start calling you Saint Elton, they ought to see the “Tantrums and Tiaras” documentary that is airing on Cinemax (Tuesday at 11 p.m. and Nov. 5 at 6:45 p.m.). It shows you in a couple of real tantrums. Do you have any misgivings about that film?

A: No, not at all [laughing]. It was my idea to do that kind of documentary and David [Furnish, the director] did an excellent job. There’s a program in England called “The South Bank Show” and it’s very good, but it’s so reverential. So, I thought it would be good to try to break some ground, be a little braver.

When I saw some of my bad behavior, I just laughed. Those things happen to every artist, especially after you get run down from weeks of touring, which is what happened in the scene where I [storm off] the tennis court and say I’m never going to the South of France again. Well, you know what? I’ve just bought a house there [laughs]. So you see, life does go on.