Theater Review : Rough Landing for the Flying Dutchman : It’s hard to say which is worst--the derivative ‘Flyer’ script, its rudderless direction or sloppy acting.

The legend of the Flying Dutchman has been treated by many artists in a variety of media, from Wagner’s towering opera to the exotic film “Pandora and the Flying Dutchman” with Ava Gardner and James Mason.

The tragic Hollander has never before been given such short shrift as in the world premiere of a play written and directed by, and featuring in the title role, Brad S. Barnes at Santa Ana’s Second Stage. It is called “Flyer,” but it never leaves the runway.

The central figure, called Fglier, becomes a sort of bit role, along with his sidekick Huggy Bear, a muffin cook from the French Revolution. They are recycled every seven years, looking for women to love them and end their odyssey.

They fade in the presence of Naomi, a metaphysical travel agent who bedded them both in the prehistorical 1970s. The play revolves slowly around Naomi and her two daughters, Rebecca and Susan, and Lydia, a lawyer about to be married. Fglier and Huggy Bear serve as appendages to the machinations of the women.

It all takes place in Avalon on Santa Catalina, dumbing the adaptation even more. The dialogue consists mostly of famous quotes from other works, song lyrics and tired, standard lines such as “If you can remember the ‘60s, you weren’t really there.” The 24 scenes, most of which are too short even for a television script, do nothing to build suspense, comedy or drama, looking for the most part like an hour-and-a-half of filler.

As a director, Barnes has shown little facility for the craft. As actors, he and his cast are greatly in need of a writer and director.

Barnes grins amiably and glowers menacingly. As Huggy, Australian Kirk Westwood pouts his lower lip with a sideways grin like the beach bum Sean Connery before he became 007. The women--Laurel Gregory as the voluptuous Naomi, Jennifer Greenhut and Anne Kemp as her libidinous daughters, and Erin Scabareti as the best lawyer joke of the year--do little more than read their lines. Suzanne Bronson as the bartender at Avalon’s Horseshoe Bar, and Kelly De Gon as the ludicrous Pastor who marries the unfortunate Fglier and Huggy to their loves at the end, are little more than comic book caricatures.

Take the Flying Dutchman’s advice and go back in time to better things.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

* “Flyer,” Second Stage, 2122 S. Grand Ave., Suite C, Santa Ana. Fridays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Ends Sept. 25. $10. (714) 966-6606. Running time: 1 hour, 40 minutes.

Laurel Gregory: Naomi

Kirk Westwood: Huggy Bear

Brad S. Barnes: Fglier

Jennifer Greenhut: Susan

Anne Kemp: Rebecca

Erin Scabareti: Lydia

Suzanne Bronson: Jaime

Kelly De Gon: Pastor

A Second Stage production of a play written and directed by Brad S. Barnes.