Well, the late Notre Dame great George...

Well, the late Notre Dame great George Gipp can stop spinning in his grave (assuming his relatives reburied him after his recent unearthing for a DNA investigation).

Gipp’s old school avoided going winless at home by clubbing Duke, 28-7, in a nationally televised game that NBC should have promoted as the Crummy Game of the Year.

The unauthoritative student website dukesuperbowl.com reported that the game between teams with a combined 2-18 record was so bad that “thousands of wives” went into shock when “almost 80% of traditional weekend chores were completed Saturday afternoon as husbands stood up from the couch in a daze, walked to the garage and chanted ‘There’s more to life than football.’ ”

With the timely loss, Duke’s Blue Doofuses climbed to No. 1 in the Bottom Ten. But they still have to lose to No. 10 North Carolina (no easy task) in their finale; otherwise all of Duke’s fumbles, interceptions and missed tackles this year won’t mean a thing.

*--* Wreck Team (W-L) Last loss Next loss 1. Duke (1-10) 7-28, Notre Dame North Carolina 2. Fla. Inter. (0-10) 28-38, La. Lafayette Florida Atlantic 3. SMUs (1-10) 20-49, Central Florida Memphis 4. Idaho (1-10) 14-58, Boise State Utah State 5. Minnehaha (1-11) 34-41, Wisconsin Done 6. Utah State (1-10) d. New Mexico St., 35-17 Idaho 7. Notre Dame (2-9) d. Duke, 28-7 Stanford 8. Syracuse (2-9) 7-30, Connecticut Cincinnati 9. N. Texas (1-9) 27-31, Arkansas State Idle 10. N. Carolina (3-8) 25-27, Georgia Tech Duke *--*

11. Poor Ole Miss (3-8); 12. University of Texas at El Overthrown Paso (4-7); 13. Baylor (3-9); 14-15. Bill & Mary (4-7); 16. Alabama Birmingham (2-9); 17. Columbia (1-9); 18. Dartmouth (3-7); 19. Finals break; 20. Miami (Fla.) (5-6).

Crummy Game of the Week: Duke (1-10) vs. North Carolina (3-8) (East region); Idaho (1-10) vs. Utah State (1-10) (West region).

Rout of the Week: Syracuse (2-9) vs. Cincinnati (8-3).

Quotebook: Rob Meyers, a junior tight end, on his feelings after Utah State snapped a 16-game losing streak: “I completely forget what this felt like, but now it’s coming back.” (Hate to say it, Rob, but you’ll be completely forgetting it again soon.)

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